I’m not really into trans people, so I only date cis men. Not trans men, not nonbinary people, and not women of any kind. However, my former boyfriend is now my girlfriend, and IDK how to tell her I don’t like women without her taking it the wrong way.
I wrote:
Hey, L,
I know you’re probably asleep, but I kind of needed to talk about something. I want you to know that I fully support you coming out as trans. I think it’s good that you’re finally your true self. However, I wanted to say that I’m straight. I’m, unfortunately, not that into women, which you are. I’m sorry, it’s just my preference. Know, please, that we can still be friends and I can support your true womanly self along the way, but I’m not interested in women and I can’t keep dating someone and lying about how I feel.
I hope you understand, E 🙂
Have you been dating long? Something strikes me as odd that you would eschew your entire relationship because your partner now identifies as a woman.
She still has the same personality, the same quirks that you fell in love with, no?
It just seems weird that her gender would supersede the relationship you built together.
I’m seeing your message to her, and what I see is you taking the easy way out of this relationship: you’re a girl, I don’t like them. You’re rejecting her for the one thing she can’t help, problem solved.
If you really want to end this relationship, then I would recommend you think about how you’re feeling right now and be honest with yourself, and then be honest with her, about the real reason you’re ending this relationship.
You can easily have two people, a man and a woman, with exactly the same traits and quirks and personality, but only be attracted to one of them depending on your sexual orientation.
They’re not eschewing the entire relationship, they said they still want to be friends.
They’re ending the romantic relationship because they won’t be attracted to them as a woman and most people want to have romantic relationships with people they’re attracted to.
Your answer reads a bit like you don’t believe straight people exist?
Uh, seems today I mainly empathize with the downvoted comments. I like to believe I like people for who they are and less so how they present or what term they choose for that. But then I don’t have any first-hand experience with this and I don’t know a lot of details about this story. And there are people who are in relationships for lots of reasons. Outer appearence, personal qualities, money, circumstances… That probably changes the picture. But I’d agree. If it’s personal qualities, then there’s more to it.
This is a pretty nonconsensual take don’t you think? If OPs partner were into men instead of women would she have to stay in the relationship?
It doesn’t have to be black and white. This is something you discuss together, to see where each partner stands and where the relationship will go moving forward.
Like, a year and a half. I used to like people for personality. I thought I did, but I only like the personality of a man. That is to say, I thought I didn’t care about gender and just liked personality, but in reality, I only like men and don’t care about appearance of men.