I’m not really into trans people, so I only date cis men. Not trans men, not nonbinary people, and not women of any kind. However, my former boyfriend is now my girlfriend, and IDK how to tell her I don’t like women without her taking it the wrong way.
I wrote:
Hey, L,
I know you’re probably asleep, but I kind of needed to talk about something. I want you to know that I fully support you coming out as trans. I think it’s good that you’re finally your true self. However, I wanted to say that I’m straight. I’m, unfortunately, not that into women, which you are. I’m sorry, it’s just my preference. Know, please, that we can still be friends and I can support your true womanly self along the way, but I’m not interested in women and I can’t keep dating someone and lying about how I feel.
I hope you understand, E 🙂
Hey, L,
I know you’re probably asleep, but I kind of needed to talk about something. I want you to know that I fully support you coming out as trans. I think it’s good that you’re finally your true self. However, I wanted to say that I’m straight. I’m, unfortunately, not that into women, which you are. I’m sorry, it’s just my preference. Know, please, that we can still be friends and I can support your true womanly self along the way, but I’m not interested in women and I can’t keep dating someone and lying about how I feel.
I hope you understand, E 🙂
Not bad. I’d say end on a supportive note if you still care about them as a person. Like if you would still be there for them through this process just say something like, “I’ll still be here to support you as you grow.” but if you won’t, don’t say that.
In the corporate world, I was taught about the “shit sandwich”. You start with the good (fully support you coming out, being true to yourself), add the shit in the middle (I’m straight and not into women), then add the other slice of bread (I’ll support your true womanly self along the way). But like, keep the shit in the middle instead of ending on your own thoughts–you can have your thoughts but just end on the supportive part.
Just like… My opinion, man.
Thank you! Maybe,
Hey, L,
I know you’re probably asleep, but I kind of needed to talk about something. I want you to know that I fully support you coming out as trans. I think it’s good that you’re finally your true self. However, I wanted to say that I’m straight. I’m, unfortunately, not that into women, which you are. I’m sorry, it’s just my preference. Know, please, that we can still be friends and I can support your true womanly self along the way, but I’m not interested in women and I can’t keep dating someone and lying about how I feel. Remember that as you continue your journey, though, I’ll be here as your friend to support you.
I hope you understand, E 🙂
This is good, but I’d recommend telling her in person (or over the phone if it’s long distance). Breaking up over text feels very impersonal IMO.
Thank you 🙂