So my girlfriend apologises compulsively. I find it easy to talk to her about the reasons why she may do that; however, she posed to me a question today which I found a little more tricky to answer:
How do I feel when I tell her to stop apologising, and why do I feel the need to tell her to stop apologising?
It’s honestly something I never gave thought to before. It is a very, very minor annoyance - to the point where I feel calling it an ‘annoyance’ is too harsh - but I don’t actually know why I feel the need to tell her stop doing it all the time.
I’m hoping someone can help me put it into words. So I ask you, Lemmy: how does it feel when someone apologises too much, and why do you feel the need to tell them to stop apologising?
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Obsessive apologizing makes a person appear not confident in themselves. If it is a person I care about I want them to be confident in themselves.
Additionally the more you repeat something the less meaning it has. So if someone apologizes too much for things that really don’t necessitate an apology when they have something they genuinely need to show remorse for and apologize for the apology holds less meaning.
It makes me think they might be people pleasing too much and I worry about them. I feel like people are trained to be like this, not so much made
I place a steady hand on their shoulder and force them to the floor. If they’re going to apologize, then they can start by licking my boots for the great transgression they have put upon me.
Do they not know how to properly beg for mercy in the company of their betters? Their lack of foresight deeply upsets me, and as they sit there bawling their eyes out, I gently remind them of all their failings in life.
It usually leaves me quite chipper, and I spend the rest of the day regaling them in tales of my success and generosity, and bring up studies relating to genetics, phrenology, and sharp leather attire.
